Thursday, March 22, 2007

Finding a Mate

If you want to find a partner who is likely to stay committed to you, recent psychological research suggests that it would be wise to choose someone whose face resembles your own, because they are more likely to find you attractive.
There are many theories behind this, one of them is the repeated exposure hypothesis. It is postulated that over the years an awful lot of time is spent looking at our own face - in the mirror, on photographs plus all sorts of documentation; what develops is a very comfortable feeling with your own particular look. Much research points to the fact that when people fall in love, although they may not consciously be aware of it, they may well be falling in love with the bit of that other person which reminds them of themselves.
Of course, there is one politician who just 'ain't boverred' by faces:


QUASAR9 said...

I always thought women fell in love with 'who or what' they wanted their men to be
And men fell in love with women who are happy to let them be 'who or what' they are.

And of course I cannot speak for women (or all men), but I am usually attracted by 'pretty' faces
and "beauty IS in the eye of the beholder"

However I'm pleased to say, none has or had a beard, and whatever facial hair they did have was very fine indeed, and fair or 'bleached'
but hey maybe I should spend more time looking in the mirror and shave, rather than just 'trimming'

Phoenix said...

I think it extends further than looks. I don't generally speak about my private life online, but suffice to say I fell for the love of my life on the basis of having a shared outlook on certain issues. We understand each other, empathis with each other, and sing from the same hymnsheet on many issues.

(and of course, being unbelievably gorgeous is just a bonus)

Phoenix said...

In fact... is my memory serves me correctly... didn't the wonderful duo of Robin Skynner and John Cleese refer to an experiment which showed people were attracted to others from a similar family background?

Heidi said...

Ok, so where am I going to find an adult male who is 40 with braces! ..Ugh and this is why I'm going to be single for the next 2 yrs.

Dr Michelle Tempest said...

Thanks Quasar9 and hospital phoenix, you are both correct. There is obviously more than physical appearance that allows love to develop...but it's not always true that opposites singing from the same hymn sheet can indeed be very attractive.

Thanks Heidi - your photograph is very beautiful - so you will need 40 year old handsome chap. (with or without the braces).

Thanks for the comments and hope you liked the clip!

Anonymous said...

That clip just makes me laugh every time. NOt sure how much Tony and Cherie look alike though.... but then again perhaps he's not bothered. Sarah.

Dr Michelle Tempest said...

Thanks Sarah!

Anonymous said...

Very funny! hp

David Anthony said...

It's strange, I disagree with a lot of what Tony Blair does, but I do think that he's a genuinely nice guy.

I've heard this theory before but that put it down to biological factors. I think you could be right though, there could be a bit of a Narcisstic quality to it too.

PS// Don't worry Heidi, you are not the only one still looking for that 'special someone' ;)

SeaSpray said...

I had heard that we will subconsciously pick someone with similar looks but I had also heard that we will pick someone with traits that we wish we had (opposites)so, are there perhaps other variables that tip the scale one way or the other?

Also, heard for the best success should be similar socioeconomic backgrounds.

I wonder?

simon said...

I have never really thought that the women I find attractive look a little like me! Good heavens!

Nothing could be further from the truth (or in my mind)..But i shall have to think about this...

But I am initially "visual". ( most blokes are i guess)

(I did hear that sometimes we choose someone that displays elements of the personality of the parent we got on with least....)

Anyway, I like people who make me laugh

jmb said...

Good, back to regular programming.
I don't think I put much credence in this suggestion. Attractiveness is a very superficial way to choose a partner. Hopefully we have enough sense to look beyond the physical appearance and look for someone who'll be a compatible companion on the journey through life, someone who you can count on, have fun with, rely on through thick and thin. Attractiveness should be a bonus.

Maalie said...

Falling in love? Bah! Humbug! So-called 'falling in love' is simply an adaptive response to ensure transmission of DNA. The feeling soon passes when 'control' starts to take over. Doesn't it?

Anonymous said...

Oh dear!

SeaSpray said...

I have also heard that sometimes the first person we are attracted to in a room may not be the right person because it is going on attraction/animal instinct-the visual. Or does that only apply to say girls with a disfunctional back ground therefore only attracted to bad boys?

Oleanderman said...

It would appear that narcissism isn't just useful in finding a love for life: Reuters article. Anyone into politics around here...? ;-)