Fourteen fundamentals of people who score high on measures of happiness include:
1) spend more time socializing
2) be productive at meaningful work
3) get better organized and plan things
4) lower or at least make more realistic your expectations
5) become present orientated
6) work on a healthy personality
7) develop an outgoing, social personality
8) be yourself
9) eliminate negative feelings and problems
10) develop close relationships as these are the number one source of happiness
11) put happiness as your most important priority
12) stop worrying
13) develop optimistic thinking
14) keep busy and be more active
(these were designed by psychologist Michael Fordyce.)
Happy Sunday!
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11 comments:
Awe, they forgot a really necessary and important factor on the list: Learning to say "no". For people pleaser's this is an essential thing to learn.
What a nice site you have Michelle, thanks for dropping in on mine.
Fine advice and difficult to follow for most of us. I agree with chrysalis angel about learning to say 'no', and I would also add forgiveness. If you carry a resentment against somebody, it empowers that person, but not yourself.
I truly like your blog and have made it a regular excursion and listed you as a favorite, if that's OK by you.
Cheers,
Ian
blimey, sounds like perfection! :-)
I think Ian has a very good point adding Forgiveness to the list, as it seems to be an incredibly difficult principle to truly practice?
Hi chrysalis angel - thanks for checking out my blog and I agree with your point.
Ian - thanks for your kind comments and thanks to the add to your site, will do the same from mine. I totally agree advice such as this is much easier said than followed!
Ceeque - forgiveness is an important part of achieving happiness and is often one people forget.
Thanks to you all.
Michelle
I have a paradox here. I frequently violate No. 12 by worrying about No. 11. At what point does the Pursuit of Happiness (e.g. the "you only live once"; "life isn't a dress rehearsal" syndromes) give way to the "sense of responsibility" tenet?
Should I blow my savings on the birdwatching trip of a lifetime, or simply spend the interest on more modest excursions? (As an example).
Help me doctor, it's blowing my mond...
1) spend more time socializing
"Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are"
2) be productive at meaningful work
"Be careful who you work for or place above you" - would you want Saddam or Hitler as your boss, yet they rose to power because people were willing to work for them - in the pursuit of power or profit
3) get better organized and plan things
The paradox - "but do not worry"
4) lower or at least make more realistic your expectations
Present poor standards of surgery & dentistry exist because patients continuously lower their expectations - we demand more rigorous and higher standards from our motor manufacrurers or construction industry than we do from surgeons. Goods are made to meet the demand for higher espectations
5) become present orientated
another paradox - "get better organised and plan (future) things
6) work on a healthy personality
7) develop an outgoing, social personality
8) be yourself
9) eliminate negative feelings and problems
"Some problems will not go away and cannot be swept under the carpet - if someone is in pain, no good saying to them 'it will pass' - they need aspirin, paracetamol or morphin."
But you are quite right: no point letting blogger delays become a problem, or your car not starting in the morning become a problem, no point letting your partner having an affair become a problem, no point your child or loved one becoming sick or terminally ill, become a problem.
10) develop close relationships as these are the number one source of happiness
11) put happiness as your most important priority
12) stop worrying
13) develop optimistic thinking
14) keep busy and be more active
Tempted to crack a joke about getting busy, but it could be viewed in poor taste - and cause a negative response - alas always best to know which jokes, and what jokes the audience will laugh at. And funnily people will laugh at different jokes depending on which group or who they are socializing with.
One cannot make an omelette without cracking eggs, and one cannot improve the nhs under the present hierarchy.
GP surgeries, nhs & foundation trusts, and the pharmaceutical industry are better at securing funds - feathering their nests - than they are at addressing patient needs or improving treatment, cures and delivery of services.
Hope you are having a nice Sunday too!
I agree with those pointers - must try and stick to them now! I also believe we should do as many kind turns for others too, try and get away from the "dog eats dog" society we are becoming.
Maalie, Thanks as always for your comments. They make me smile. I guess as for spending more money than is affordable - debt is a common pre-cursor of unhappiness. But the idea of your bird watching holiday does sound lovely.
Ellee - I could not agree more about an often forgotten aspect of happiness is helping others. I hope we can steer clear of the dog-eat-dog community. Perhaps blogging can lead the way! I liked your post about celebrating other bloggers on getting a book deal.
Quasar9 - thanks for your comments - they are really worth another post in themselves.
Thanks for all your comments - I really do appreciate the feedback, which is possible via blogs.
With good wishes
Michelle
3&4 I have had to work on.
If things were not perfect I would "throw in the towel". Especially when it came to music and dance...
And I have such unrealistic expectations that everyone else wants to move at Arrow speed ( right jim??)
Oh dear. When I first saw the list I thought I would print it off because I thought the items good things to ponder. (Except I'm retired, so I've earned the respite from my "meaningful work", practised for more than 40 years. I am still task oriented however,when I'm not reading or spending time with blogs.)
But qasar9's comments left me a bit depressed.
Sadly I note that as I've become older, I've become more of a perfectionist instead of less.
As a sufferer of borderline personality disorder these 14 fundamentals pose challenges.
That said they are all worthy challenges.
#8 stands out for me. As by being myself, I am alienated from a world who does not understand me and I don't understand the world.
By being me, wats and all I have lost friends... yet of the list it is the one I relate to the most... the one I strive for the most. Because unless I am myself I will never find acceptance, from others or myself.
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